winterslaap

                           Me and my wallet

Monologue theatre for a green square on which stands a very old, very tiny, very ugly caravan. This little caravan presently is stored at the Ganzenhoeve, Zeewolde, but after 31 december 2024 it may be destroyed because there won't be place for it anymore. 

The  upper part of the door of the caravan opens and a rather fat, not tall man without much hair left on his head and eyes closed appears, turning his head in several directions.

He says: We are close friends, me and my wallet. 

I give to it and it gives to me. That 's a good thing, giving. One gets pleased receiving and that turns out well in the belly. Me and my wallet have full belly. I don't say fat belly because that is not necessary. Our bellies just are big. So in the bellies is much room for what gives pleasure. Though my belly and that of my wallet have to be fed differently. You know that. 

Pausing. 

He shows the wallet, which is very big and very thick. The man puts it away again and ticks with his hand on his belly.

He says: I say this is perfectly in order. It is full and my wallet helps to keep it so. About my brain? That needs not much attention. Things just keep going, which is sufficient. I don't have to worry on this or that, because my wallet solves all problems. How do I feed my wallet? Quite easily, for I got the right way to harvest what it needs. I mean what it wants in order to stay good friends with me. It is law that allows so. Laws have many holes and I found one through which money poors. Really affluently. Could my wallet speak it would say Thank you, fellow. Oh, I worked hard to become rich, very rich. That is at least what I tell other people. They don't need to know about the hole in law that I found, which can also be described as a fountain, spreading wealth in my garden. Or compare with an always running waterfall of gold coins. Yes, of course I mean banknotes; those paper things. But we believe in their power and are busy with them more than with God. Who they say created everything and thus also gold and banknotes. So it is a pleasant world but of course I pity those with misfortunes, whether with their body, p.e. not having the right stomac, or mentally. In which latter case I can give advise: Just be content with what you have and use your eyes to see the many beautiful things. See also esthetically well done houses of which I do possess one, surrounded by a beautiful garden with not only trees like in a park but those that give fruits. Pausing he turns his head around and then to the little caraven. Looking forward again: I think you think why does that fellow live in such an old ugly caravan. Well, I will explain: Many people with lots of money like me have difficulty to cure their wallets when these become too fat. Some then go spending on horse race betting; others like to posess an array of cars from very small if not a bike on three wheels to such an italian monster for 200 miles per hour. The government may build more racing circuits as on  normal roads limits must not be surpassed. So I have a beautiful house which is my home and where I lived. But my business was wonderfull with giant profits. So I went thinking what to do with all that money. In my opinion everybody should care for himself and charity only has to be spent on those with handicaps mentally or of physical nature. Besides that I know that the government consists of evil persons with lots of relations where the tax money disappears. So I did a lot of thinking as I do not need all the pleasures that king Solomon enjoyed in his wealth.

Then one day I got it. A palace for me would be nice and my wallet agreed. Imagine how I can live in a palace surrounded by servants varying from shoe polishers to upperclass cooks. He smiles: Not crooks of course who rob you whether in a hidden way or with violence. And of course all kinds in between. I slept well that night after I had made the conclusion that best thing for me now is living in a palace. Ho, stop -he raises his hand. How to get maximum pleasure from living in a palace, a splendid building with a splendid garden, splendid horses for my carriage, etc.etc. That was really a difficult question and my brain got really tired trying to find an answer. But suddenly I got it: You will get maximum enjoyment after there has been a period with a minimum. So when I saw this old tiny ugly caravan I immediately knew That 's it! And here I sit. As long as it will take time to finish my palace. You see: I am happy now just here in this old tiny ugly caravan because soon I will move to my palace, home for me and my wallet. 

His head turns round and round. May be I 'll invite you or some of you to visit me in my palace. My wallet agrees that it will cost you nothing. That should cause pleasure for you too. He is very glad now and starts dancing and singing:

         Soon, soon, soon I 'll move,  will have splendid roof. 

         A good shelter for me; from problems be free.

         My wallet agreed; we both thus are pleased. 

He stops, hand for his mouth: Oh, I forgot. Of course I ll give to the poor and handicapt; whether at my door or when I am going out with my wallet. God need not be afraid that I'll keep all the money only for myself, stored in my great wallet. I too know the story of that fellow, told in the Bible, who said: My sheds are full, now I will stay eating and drinking as much as I can. I think such behaviour is not OK, it is bad. Even if one lives in a palace you should think of poor people outside. So I intend, when my palace has been built and is ready to harbour me and my wallet, so I intend to have created in the backgarden a nice, small, cosy hut for a tramp if he passes here. Not for every trump or outcast but just for one who will be near and whom I will allow to profit also from my wallet with a short stay in my hut in the backgarden. Thus no storyteller can say that I am avaricious. On the contrary me and my wallet serve those poor passing here and that is really a good thing.

He smiles and ticks on his chest where he keeps his wallet. So that is what I wanted to tell you.

He opens the door of the caravan fully and comes out. He appears to be dressed like a tramp. He spreads his arms and yawns like awakening. Now he looks to the public straight, but a little bewildered: 
Hi there. Ooooh, I had such a nice dream about me and a wallet.